I fully admit I'm an ignorant individual. Even during the most serious cases, I'm going to see the humor of things.
Now, I have been getting my giggle on about Anucha Browne Sanders vs. The New York Knicks. I don't know how much you've paid attention to the trial, but I can tell you that it is Exhibit A of what happens when secretly ghetto people are put on the witness stand.
And I use the term "secretly ghetto" because, in terms of finances, Isiah Thomas, who Browne Sanders claimed was inappropriate with her on numerous levels, has made it. He's an executive in one of the most storied franchises in the NBA. He's a millionaire several times over. He's one of the 50 greatest players.
But, he's still 'hood.
According to Browne Sanders, 'Zeke called her bitches and ho's in meetings and just about everywhere else. Yeah, he tried to get the booty, too. But homegirl wasn't down and it made for some real awkwardness.
Her description of the events are sad, but there is definitely a strain of comedy. According to Browne Sanders, a work interaction with Zeke went something like this:
ZEKE: BITCH, WHERE 'DEM QUARTERLY REPORTS AT?
BROWNE SANDERS: Uh, uh...
ZEKE: I SWEAR FO' GOD IF I HAVE TO ASK YO BLACK ASS AGAIN...WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE, BITCH? HUH? HUH?
Browne Sanders made it sound like she was working for a cross between Ike Turner and Max Julian. Browne Sanders was getting hit with so many bitches and ho's, between Zeke and point guard Stephon Marbury, I'm surprised her name tag didn't just read: Bitch.
Stephon Marbury was the wrong person to take the witness stand. Again, this is what happens when ghetto folks get under oath. First, Steph admitted he banged an intern outside a strip club -- the same intern that his cousin broke off. By the way, Steph is married and I'm sure every divorce lawyer in town called Steph's wife after he revealed that in testimony. Next, Steph admitted he didn't call Anucha a "black bitch," but he did probably call her a regular ol' bitch. You stay classy, Steph.
(Real quick, concerning Steph: I'm starting to think he has a drug problem. Here's why.)
Zeke didn't do himself any favors in testimony either. According to him, if a white man calls a sista a bitch, dem is fighting words. But if a black man does it, it's not "as bad."
Memo to NY Knicks: Be thinking of a number and settle out of court.
