I Knew Him, But Did I KNOW Him?

OK, white people, make up your minds. Is he Doughboy with 4.4 speed? Is he O-Dog with the ability to intercept?

Make up your minds!

Damn, black folks go through enough shit in this world. We can't even die in peace. We've got to die in controversy, in a swirl of racism. But I suppose it makes sense, since that is essentially how we come in this world, right?

As you probably know by now, Sean Taylor died from a gunshot wound the other morning. It's tragic on a number of levels. He's the second NFL player murdered this year. Correction: He's the second BLACK NFL player murdered this year. Darrent Williams, like Sean Taylor, also was 24.

For some reason, Sean Taylor's murder resonated more with me than Darrent Williams. Mainly because I know Sean Taylor. Or rather, I know him, but I don't know him.

Never met him before in my life, but throughout my life, I've come across different caricatures of him. He was young, talented, brash, and matured right in front of us. He was a black boy once lost, but then found. He was striving, but not quite there yet. We see these black men every day. Just a black man trying to find his way.

It's sad because, despite fame, money, popularity, a new kid, a new fiance, a police chief daddy, a Pro Bowl on the resume, he ultimately succumbed to being another black men shot dead. What makes Taylor's case more frightening than Williams is that Taylor was shot in his home, with his fiance and 18-month-old in the room. Darrent Williams' death also was untimely. But it was New Year's Eve. He was at a celebrity birthday party (Kenyon Martin). He was with other high-profile Broncos players. It's been reported that WR Brandon Marshall got into a confrontation with some fool at the bar. Darrent and his party decided to leave before the spot got hot. A few minutes later, their limo was shot up, presumbably by the same dudes who had beef.

That situation isn't a shock. But a player get snuffed out in their own crib with wifey and child huddled in fear underneath the covers? Scary shit.

What's troubling is the media has shown virtually no compassion toward Taylor because yes, he has had a few scrapes with the law. He got into a beef with someone who supposedly had stolen from him. Taylor allegedly pulled out a gun on the dude, even though that was never substantiated in a court of law. He eventually plead to a misdemeanor. Later on, his car was shot up about 30 times. He wasn't in it, but obviously, if you're car is being shot up, you have created an enemy or two.

Those are relevant as we try to shape and figure out who did this to Sean Taylor. Well, they were, until the police said his previous troubles didn't seem to bear any connection on his murder. But, of course, the media didn't drop it. Most things said and written about this man carries the undertone that he deserved the violent because SHOCKER, in his early 20s, he'd made some bad decisions.

But you know how the media do. If they can't make it stick, they just make up shit. I heard someone say Taylor had escaped his "background." Oh really? You mean the background that included growing up in a middle-class home and attending an exclusive Miami prep school? Someone else talked about him breaking away from unsavory characters. Oh, really? Funny, his former Miami teammates said he had kept to himself since he got into trouble. Another columnist said he kept his circle small and didn't trust anyone. Various media members admitted no one knew him that well because he didn't like the media, yet in the same breadth they have made some grandiose assumptions about his character. Now we see why he didn't talk to their asses.

Sadly, this is the never-ending media two-step. CNN, MSNBC, punk-ass FOX, and everyone else make a living out of making black people seem like America's No. 1 nightmare. All day, e'eery day, people are shown images of black people as perpetrators. So when we're actually victims, people still try to make us into criminals, or make the crimes puported against us seem justified.

OF COURSE, that doesn't happen to white folks. Y'all know that. Kurt Cobain, dude from INXS, and a host of other celebrities have committed suicide or overdosed, and their deaths always are romanticized. They are always viewed and constructed as tragic, sympathetic figures. Should Keith Richards drop dead tomorrow of an overdose, his drug abuse will be noted, but people will mostly talk about what a great musician he is and how it's such a tragedy. Natalee Holloway also has been painted as a tragic figure and if she were held to the same standards as Sean Taylor, the media would spend most of their time calling her stupid for leaving with three men she didn't know. If Natalee were Rashida, there were would be hour-long specials devoted to examining what dumbass parents would allow their teenage daughter to go to a foreign country unsupervised knowing the druggin' and drinkin' likely to occur.

But let me leave that there and deal with something else that hasn't been talked about as much -- the difference between Miami and everywhere else. Taylor is just the latest 'Cane to befall a tragic circumstances. In the last 17 years, nine 'Canes have died. Last year, Bryan Pata was shot in the head, execution style. Linebacker Marlin Barnes and his girlfriend were murdered by a jealous former boyfriend.

Miami is unique, beautiful (in spots), and extraordinarily dangerous. Particularly for Miami players. Football is the lifeblood of Florida, but in Miami it's the veins and cartilage, too. A Miami football player would have as much juice as Shaq in Miami. They are revered and such celebrity, especially when Luther Campbell has been bankrolling your program for years, is a target for animosity, too.

And that's the special conundrum black athletes are in. They're already targets because of their fame and wealth. Add in their skin color, which makes black men six times more likely to be murdered than a white man, and it's a powder keg. Unfortunately, the jealousy factor among blacks is horrific. When a black athlete steps into a club, he's also facing a supreme wall of hate. Dudes that don't think he's that good of a ballplayer. Dudes that are pissed all the women killing each other to get up in VIP with the ballers. Dudes who are like, "man I ran for 100 yards on that fool in high school. Fugg him."

As a friend pointed out, here's the major difference between white haters and black haters. If a white boy doesn't make it, he might be jealous of the superstar athlete that did, but...he's a CPA or an attorney. He's found a measure of success beyond athletics. He doesn't have the need to justify the accomplishments against the athlete that made it.

But with us, it ain't that simple. That black hata in the club, pissed he wasn't the big-time football star, didn't go on and become something else. Since too many black folks place all hopes on rappin' or ballin', odds are the black hata started slangin' or didn't do shit. And worse, black hata is strapped hatin' yo ass because you've made something of yourself.

Miami is portrayed as a beautiful, noveau, upperclass city. Truth: Miami is a shithole. Not completely, but it's some shit-hole-ish going on. But that's any inner city. There is a wide chasm between the have and have nots. But those have nots still have access to the same venues as the haves.

This is the pressurized swirl black athletes find themselves in. Wanting to stick close to black folks, but doing so could get them killed or hurt. Just a generation removed from poverty, first generation money responsible for family and crew that couldn't get on for their damn selves.

Not even in death can we get peace.

The death of Kanye West's mother, Donda, was tragic, but y'all know I have some questions, right?

First, an observation about Kanye's relationship with his mother. In some ways, their relationship emphasized how important it is for a black man to be raised by another strong, black man. Of course, women have been raising sons for years, but women tend to pass on their women-like traits to their sons, who we later refer to as bitches.

Kanye is brilliant, a once-in-a-generation musical talent, but, uh...and I probably shouldn't say this because I'm sensitive to the fact his momma just died..but...derrr...uhh...dude's kind of a bitch.

Remember the MTV Europe Music Video Awards? 'Ye jumped onstage and started cussing people out because he didn't win best video. "Matter of fact, I'm not going to any more awards shows," 'Ye said. "From now on, I got all the awards I need. I'm only making my music for the fans. ... The streets know, and the fans know, that 'Touch the Sky' was killin' that video. ... Don't even nominate my shit. Don't play with me. I don't need awards to validate me."

Remember the American Music Awards in '04? 'Ye stormed out because Gretchen Wilson won for best new artist. 'Ye: "I felt like I was definitely robbed, and I refused to give any politically correct bullshit-ass comment ... I was the best new artist this year."

I know I'm getting off on a tangent, but the guys raised primarily by women are easy to spot. Exhibit A: Terrell Owens. Raised by his mother and grandmother. World-class bitch. A talented, world-class bitch, but a bitch nonetheless.

This isn't an absolute formula because I know men who were raised by women who do not display bitch traits. But the MAJORITY, do. They tend to be as dramatic as women, as sensitive as women, with wavering self-esteem like women, and anger like women.

Getting back to Momma 'Ye and her surgery debacle, it struck me as odd that Momma Ye seemed to need the spotlight as much as her son. Kanye's music naturally put him the spotlight, but he and his mother went out of their way to draw attention to himself. She wrote a book about what it was like to raise her son, aptly titled "Raising Kanye."

Hey, do you, Ms. 'Ye.

And am I the only one who found it bizarre that a 58-year-old woman would want to have a tummy tuck? I can understand the breast reduction. A lot of women get those because it reduces stress on the back and body. But it seemed a little late in the game to be making those kind of improvements.

I'm willing to pass it off as being a Hollywood, in-the-limelight thang, but if you're going to get that kind of major plastic surgery, and your son is Kanye West, wouldn't you make sure you got the top plastic surgeon to give the ol' body an oil change?

Only that's not what happened here. According to reports, Momma 'Ye got done in by a hacksaw. Dr. Jan Adams, the dude that performed Momma 'Ye's surgery, is currently under investigation by the Medical Board of California because he's gone Freddy Krueger on a couple of women. Adams was arrested twice in the last four years for alcohol-related offenses. He also has been the target of several malpractice suits and in '01, he paid out almost $500K to settle up a couple of cases.

Entertainment Tonight, CNN, and various other news outlets have interviewed several women that Adams knifed up incorrectly. Dude has flat-out disfigured women, including one woman who says he mistakenly left a surgical tissue in her breast that almost killed her.

How on Earth did Momma 'Ye wind up letting this dude operate on her? Hindsight is 20-20, of course, but there is something especially tragic about someone dying this way. Now, we don't know for sure that Momma 'Ye's death was related to her recent plastic surgery, but the suspicions are pretty strong and given this dude's track record, it's not far-fetched.

It will be interesting to see how this impacts Ye's musical career. These tragedies bury most people, but these calamities tend to strengthen artists. We'll see how 'Ye progresses forward.

"Niggas Is A Beautiful Thangggggg"

I did OK on my nigga post, but I think my dude, Twist, sums this one up a little bit better.

And just to give you something to look forward to, expect detailed blogs on the tragic passing of Kanye's momma, Donda West, and more on how niggas is a beautiful thang (a quote from Spike Lee's Bamboozled, in case you don't get it)

"You Somebody's Nigga, In That Nigga Tie"

Am I a nigga for finding nigga still funny, usable, and creative?

Take the title of this blog and this photo. The title came from a quote used in 40-year-old Virgin, one of my favorite movies. The character Jay, who works at the Smart Tech, the Best Buy knockoff, is being harassed for a hook-up by one of his boys. His boy calls him a nigga, as in nigga, you best come through with this hook up. Jay takes offense.

"I ain't nobody's nigga!" Jay says. "You want a nigga? Well, a nigga's here now!"

His boy replies, "Well, you somebody's nigga, in that nigga tie."

Funny, but with a subtle poignance. If you're black, you are somebody's nigga, be it your peeps, your company's, or theoretically and politically the nigga caught up in the American racist regime.

We're (again) debating "that word," as nigga-ologist Michael Richards would say. Now the new debate is whether nigga should be used creatively since Nas decided to title his next album, "Nigger," which is due to be released Dec. 11.

The label stands behind Nas. As they should. If there is anyone I don't worry about where the word, nigga, is concerned, it's Nas, one of the last true hip-hop artists left. If that was Soulja Boy's album title, I'd be a worried, afraid it would be associated to some coon-ass dance. But I know if Nas is titling his album that, its purpose is to educate.





To me, this whole nigga issue relates to two things: 1. Don Imus 2. White privilege. I guess they're one in the same, but as soon as Imus' degradation of the Rutgers women's basketball team turned into a conversation about what's wrong with hip hop, it became a fad to single out a word that is deeply imbedded in both white and black culture.

There is no way you can convince me white folks really give a shit about hip hop or whether black folks call each other nigga. This is about their right to use nigga, not ours. Even simpler, this is about a group being privileged for so long that even the slightest hint that there is ground they can't tread on leads to an all-out assault. Like with affirmative action, nevermind that white folks safely lock down 85 percent of the jobs, that white males on average make more money than any other racial group, white privilege would rather focus on the 10-15 percent that they aren't getting. They must have. it. all.

I wonder what the white folks would do if, tomorrow, black folks told them that they could use nigga as much as they wanted and it wouldn't get in trouble, that this would be 1837 all over again. And subsequently, we decide that we are going to call each other "pork rinds," but the rule is white folks can't call us that. Here's betting that an army of white folks would then bitch they couldn't call us "pork rinds."

This may not be politically correct to admit, but this is still a society where nigga should have its place. I don't see a problem with having a double standard in its application and usage, particularly when we have double standards throughout language that is unilaterally applied to other groups. Men have heard women call each other bitches, sluts, ho's, cows, tramps, hussies, etc., in jest. But most men would never feel comfortable openly referring to a woman in that regard. Around his boys, nonwithstanding. Most women know one of the fastest ways to make a dude turn into Ike Turner on you is to call him a bitch. We call our girls that in a minute, be it in anger or in love. But we know, to a man, this is a direct challenge of manhood. Those are two double standards we follow daily, yet I don't hear men protesting the right to call women ho's, or women protesting for the right to call men bitches.

I have heard Mexicans call each other wetbacks. I've heard Asian people refer to other Asians as having a "gong mentality," which is much like being a coon. Since I'm not a member of either race, I wouldn't be arrogant or presumptous enough to tell them what words should mean in their own culture.

It bothers white people that there are culture norms and practices they can't understand, that leave them as outsiders. As silly as it sounds, many of them are jealous that minorities have victim card status. Trust me, brown and black folks would trade that never-expiring victim card for white folks' power and status in society. Being forever labeled a victim, or not deserving isn't as fun as it looks.

Besides, if the nigga debate were ever settled and the word was somehow banned from the lexicon, look at the damage it would make within my immediate music world.

- No Dead Nigga Blvd Pt I and II from Me'Shell N'Degeocello (No longer do I blame others for the way we be/'Cause niggas need to redefine what it means to be free)

- No Mr. Nigga from Mos Def; (Now who is the cat at Armani buying wears?/With the tourists who be asking him, do you work here?/Mr. Nigga, Nigga, Nigga)

- No Nigga Witta Gun from Dre; (Who is the man with the masterplan? A Nigga Witta muthafuckin' gun!)

It would also mean the banishment of one of the greatest phrases ever uttered in cinema. It comes from the movie, "Bamboozled," one of Spike Lee's best films. It goes:

"Niggas is a beautiful thannnggggg...."