Friday, April 25, 2008

Nino Brown Gets Payback For G Money


Come on down, Wesley Snipes, you're America's latest black celebrity felon!

I wish I could have more sympathy for Nino, but the stupidity of what he did absolutely prevents it. Not only that, Nino went to the Nigro Handbook and decided to appeal to other high-fallutin' Nigros like Denzel Washington to write letters to the judge, asking for leniency.

No. 1, isn't Nino Asian? Funny how that now that his ass is in the sling, he's calling on some of his Nigro friends to help him. After all, Nino pulled a Madonna/Tina Turner on us some years ago. Madonna is from Michigan, not England. But you wouldn't know that now because she talks with a British accent. Every time I see her on TV talking about crumpets, I can't help but think...um, didn't you grow up in Rochester (MI)? Anyway, same goes for Tina Turner. Once she got paid, she acted like she had never heard of Nutbush, Tenn., her hometown. The money made her British, too. But I'll give Tina a pass. She did spend 20 years ultimate fighting with Ike.

But back to Nino...

I realize celebrities spend a major part of their lives bored, but I'm sure Denzel could have found something better to do than ask a judge to give Nino a hook up. Unfortunately, it's a common trap Nigros fall into. We support blacks without discrimination, regardless of their accompanying bullshit (see: Kwame Kilpatrick).

Again, it's hard for me to feel sorry for Wes. He's made more money than 90 percent of folks will ever see in their lifetime. Surely, he could have found a few minutes to file taxes.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Damn D-Wade, It's Like That?



No doubt there has been some strange Hollywood hook-ups, but seriously, did anyone EVAH see this one coming?

Star Jones and D Wade?

What. Tha. Phuuuuukkkkk.

That's some Body Snatchers shit right there. They don't even go together. Well, sorry, apparently they do go together. But I just can't see D Wade rolling up on Star Jones in all her gastric-bypass-goodness and trying to get with that. I know, I know. There is somebody for everybody. I just assumed the "somebody" for Star probably had 10 less teeth, a conk, and worked at Citgo. Alright, I'm being mean. For real, I just never saw it coming. But I guess love is love.

Whatever the case, guess D Wade's whole blown-up wifey situation was a lot more impactful than originally thought. You see Shaq and his ol' lady supposedly are on the reconcile tip. Maybe this is D Wade's way of acting out his pain.

Either that or he's majorly slump-busting. If that's the case, I'm calling MVP for D Wade next year right this minute.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

You Make The Call



or



On pure gangsta-rism, D Jacobsen still wins. Notice her tilt is much higher. Her body language better gives off "I just really don't give a phuk." Plus, the other drink in Stephen Jackson's hand really takes away from the juxtaposition of the bottle. It competes with it. I give DJ a 10, and SJ a 8.5

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I've Got The Meaning Of Life Right Here


I Guess Youll Do - Watch more free videos

One thing's for sure: Black folks don't know a damn thing about cold cuts at the funeral (That statement will make more sense after you watch the entire video). If you've ever been to a black funeral, expect, as a friend of mine often says, "Three meats and 55 sides."

Nevertheless, this might be the greatest breakdown of life I've ever heard.