The White Man Gets It, Why Not The Bruh?

So let me get this straight: New York Governor Eliot Spitzer gets busted organizing ass by the feds and resigns in less than 48 hours. Kwame Kilpatrick bangs his chief of staff, costs the city of Detroit $9 million trying to hide it, is linked to the mysterious murder of a stripper, spent $200K of the city's money partying like Jay-Z, and on top of all that...Detroit was the murder capital last year, continues to have a horrific unemployment rate, and insurance and property taxes are high as hell. But, he's still in office. In fact, last night, Kwame gave his state of the city address like ain't shit up.

Spitzer's out, he's still in. Go figure.

Kwame needs to take some cues from Spitzer, who realized that once he was busted for prostitution, it undermined his authority as governor. How could anyone take the governor seriously knowing that he's spent $80K on some illicit ass? How could he possibly punish anyone with any authority? All they would have to say is "prostitution ring," and they'd have scoreboard. His reputation was destroyed, so for the betterment of the state, he resigned.

Why can't that idiot Kwame do the same? If he truly cared about Detroit the way he says, he'd resign. What can he get accomplished when everybody is snickering behind his back and calling him the text-message freak? What business leader would trust him now, knowing all he does is put his incompetent friends in charge? Kwame would rather send Detroit through scandal and possible criminal trials, rather than do the right thing.

Although, I thought of something today: I notice a lot of white folks who live across 8 Mile are laughing at Detroiters for re-electing Kwame. Some are shaking their heads like, what is wrong with you black folks?

They're right. But before they throw a strone, I got a name for them:

George Bush.

Black folks could easily say, what's wrong with you white people for re-electing George Bush? He might have stolen the first election, but he won pretty easily the second time around.

If you think about it, Bush ran the Kwame in reverse. Bush played the race card, too. He did what many conservative, white politicians do. He played on the fears of the rich, white, conservative and Christian. Got them all riled up about gay marriage, the war, and a "way of life." And he got voted right in.

It's no different than Kwame, who like most black politicians in Detroit use the us vs. them -- city vs. suburbs and black vs. white -- to get re-elected in spite of their woeful mismanagement and lack of ethics.

Politicians all run the same game, black or white.

BREAKING NEWS: 1-800-Dial-A-Trick Sinks NY Governor

Memo to male politicians: Don't send dick through text message, and DO NOT send it through the telephone.

You never know who might be listening, something the New York governor discovered the hard way.

Today Gov. Eliot Spitzer (by the way, why the hell does his name only have one 'T') admitted that was him on the federal wiretap trying to get some coochie from a prostitute.

Nice to know Kwame Kilpatrick isn't the only genius out there.

Is it just me or do all these politicians follow the same dumbass guide when they get busted? Here's what you can expect: Over-use of the term "private matter," a lame apology to the family, followed by some fake-ass show of support by the wife, who more than likely knew he had ho's.

Unlike KK, I'll give Spitzer a few points for doing some things that KK didn't. First, he went to the professionals. This is a good thing. If you're going to cheat, don't be caught on some corner with a vial of crack, a fifth of MD 20/20 and a pack of Lemonheads, trying to bargain for some fellatio.

But when you're a public official, and I don't care if you're running the local Kiwanis club or the state of New York, you've just got to expect that your phone calls are being taped. That might seem super-paranoid, but technology is a mo-fo. If I'm a creeping governor, I've got a separate Sprint phone just for prostitutes. It's called a Ho Phone. Get one. Had Spitzer had one, then fools like me wouldn't forever be referring to him as "Client No. 9," which supposedly was his alias whenever he called Dial-A-Booty.

Which brings me to another point...As soon as the person on the other end identified him as the governor, I would have either hung up, or acted like I had no idea what they were talking about. That should have told him that something wasn't right.

So far, no word on whether Spitzer was paying for the tricks with his personal credit card, or with the state's. Let's hope it's the former.

From a racial standpoint, it definitely shows the difference between when white men cheat, and when black men do it. KK was texting, wining and dining on the city credit card, showing up to see ho's who had mink coats on and nothing else. White dude has a number, is under the discreet name of Client 9, and seems to be trying to do a somewhat respectful creep.

Black folks will pervert the hook up to the death. We truly live by the principle that you "can't fuck with free." That's just how we think. Plus, we do things with jaw-dropping ignorance. It's funny, but it's ignorant.

So in the battle of the creepin' Gov vs. the creepin' Mayor, KK still has him beat. He misappropriated city funds. His creep cost the city $9 million and an unprecedented amount of national embarrassment -- which is saying something for a city like Detroit. Oh, and he also might have killed a stripper.

KK in a knockout.