Tuesday, August 14, 2007
The No-Food, Kettle One Diet...Brought To You By Las Vegas
Things I didn't do in Las Vegas:
- Marry a midget
- Lose my life savings
- Have sex with a prostitute
- Wake up in a ditch
- See a draq queen
- Make It Rain
- Go outside
- Get to bed before 4 a.m.
- Gamble
- Run from Suge Knight
- Wake up in a pool of my own vomit
- Drink liquor before noon
Things I DID do in Vegas:
- Drank more Kettle One than water
- Eat four times in five days
- See two ho's from the HBO special, Hookers on the Point: Las Vegas
- Made my boss buy me a $500 bottle of Vodka in VIP
- Lose my voice on Day 2
- Be proud there was more than 3,000 black folks...and no shooting!
- Boss Up (it's a new one...y'all dont know!)
- Saw Carrot Top and Kid Rock
- Ate one of the five-best steaks I've ever had in my life
- Met my girl, Victoria Rowell, formerly of Young & The Restless
- Prayed my liver will regenerate
- See old friends, meet new ones
- Eat two dinners over $300
- Argue about Rasheed Wallace at 6 a.m.
- Spend 14 hours at a bar
- Say the phrase "in the BUILDING!" about 342 times
- Decide that Don King is the REAL nappy-headed ho', not Pacman Jones
- Realize that yes, black folks, are just LOUD
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3 comments:
HILARIOUS!
so... you're saying that 1/2 your meals cost $600? balllllllllin.
"...Man! We should've kept having sex that summer!"
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