Kwame Kilpatrick: Soon To Be Some Bad Man's Girlfriend

KK got indicted on eight counts of perjury.

'Bout damn time.

Never have I wanted a person to go to jail more than this man, who has stolen the hope, money and dignity from a city that couldn't afford to lose any of that.

Never have I felt less sorry for a man, or been less willing to offer forgiveness or sympathy. I just hope for 15 years, some 6-foot-8, 280-pound dude is calling him "Shirley" in prison and forcing KK to give him pedicures all damn day.

I'll be honest: I never thought Detroit prosecutor Kym Worthy would charge KK with anything. Although her and KK are considered enemies, I thought she'd ultimately do like any other politician -- look out for her own hiney, and focus on being re-elected rather than what's right.

But today very well have been Worthy's finest moment as a prosecutor. In a packed, nationally-television news conference, she pretty much told the world that she wasn't having it. Know what else I noticed? She's got a mostly-white prosecution team, which is HUGE. Unfortunately, in a city like Detroit, in a situation like this, you have to play race politics. With white folks muscle behind her, she's showing she's not bullshittin.' This could be a career case for her. Even tho'...she got a mustache.

Laughable is that in his own news conference KK said he was "deeply disappointed" in Worthy's decision and he looks forward to "full vindication." And in the meantime he looks to "moving the city forward."

Oh, really? I'd love to see what kind of progress can be made when the Mayor is under the cloud of a multiple-count indictment. What business would ever go in co-hoots with this fool? He's worse than acid right now. No city business can get accomplished, which is why he needs to resign as soon as possible.

In a way, this is Detroit's first step toward healing and resolution. Not sure what else to say beyond that. I'll close with a poignant quote from Worthy's speech today:

"Some have suggested that the issues before us are personal or private. Our investigation has clearly shown that public dollars were used, people’s lives were ruined, the justice system was severely mocked, and the public trust trampled on.”

This Is Why Rappers Need To Stay In The Studio

The National Organization for Women is going to love this.

Well-renown orator Snoop Dogg did the dumbest thing possible and responded to criticism that rappers objectify women in their vidoes.

Let's just say, it wasn't the most eloquent response. If you can wade through the broken English, lack of subject-verb agreement, Snoop's basic point is Playboy does it, why can't we? Besides, Snoop says, they ain't all the way naked. Take that!

Here's the thing: Objectify is a loose term. It's hard to objectify someone who agrees to show T & A in a video. These women willfully agree to put themselves in these videos. I don't like the practice, but you can act as if they are being forced against their will. If anything, when rappers have casting calls, they have to turn women away because so many of them want to be the next Superhead.

Snoop would have been much better off making that argument, instead of the one he made. Here's what needs to be the new rule in the African-American handbook: If you get called on something, instead of pulling the look-at-the-white-man routine, just admit it. Snoop should have just said, hey, hip-hop is entertainment. Those women are paid, some of them quite well. We're not forcing them to be there against their will. End of comment.

I've found it amusing to listen to rappers justify degrading lyrics. I'm over that but-we're-just-rappin'-about-what's-going-on-in-the-hood nonsense. Just say, it's entertainment. I'm not responsible for raising your kids, or telling them what they should and shouldn't be listening to. Don't like it, don't buy it.

It's so silly that people actually want rappers to be more responsible. Yeah, well, I want an endless stream of White Castle, to be a size 6 the rest of life, but that shit isn't happening. Rappers are no more responsible than actors, producers or directors. It's as Hollywood as the movies. If you're depending on anyone to have morals and ethics in a multi-billion dollar industry, you will be sorely disappointed.

Kill Somebody, Rob The City, But Don't Say Nigga

Now I finally know the recipe for getting Kwame Kilpatrick out of office.

He's got to keep saying the word, nigga.

This morning, Michigan's elite politicians -- and I'm using the term 'elite' loosely -- expressed outrage because KK said in his State of The City speech the other night that he had been called a nigger more recently than he had in his whole life.

Wait, didn't that nigga go to Cass Tech and FAMU? Oops, my bad. I slipped.

I highly doubt KK was telling the truth, but neverthless it pissed off Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm and Attorney General Mike Cox, who expressed their displeasure the word was used in light of the NAACP burying the word in the D recently.

Cox got extra-bold and called for Kwame's resignation. He called the mayor a "liar and a race-baiter," and even compared da mayor to David Duke and George Wallace. Granholm's weak ass issued a similar statement, although she wasn't as strong as Cox.

Here's my problem with this: Cox was in charge of the investigation into whether KK had that infamous party at the mansion, and was linked to the death of Tamara Green. According to crack-ace Cox and his team, the party didn't exist and there was no coverup.

Since then, we see that Columbo Cox either let a llama conduct the investigation or he's a moron. I'm going with the latter, since I don't want to insult the llama. For Cox to get riled up about KK now is farcical. Where was all this gangsta when Cox was conducting an investigation? The whole damn city knows that party really happened, but the attorney general, the person with supposedly the best law enforcement resources at his disposal, can't prove whether a simple party happened?

Worse, is that both he and Granholm have been mute until now about whether Kwame should reisgn, when it's obvious he should. His ability to run the city has been totally compromised, which in turn compromises the efficiency of the whole state. If the biggest city in the state ain't shit, what kind of hopeful outlook can the rest of the state truly have?

So, he drops nigger during a speech -- a pandering ploy to Detroit voters who fear white control -- and they all of a sudden wanna get 'bout it? That's that bullshit. They didn't say squat about the misappropriation of funds, or the text message embarrassment. But now, the gloves are off over nigger?

Nigga please.

Granholm and Cox are playing the game just as astutely and deceitfully as KK. The reason Granholm, Cox and many other of the Michigan politicians have remained mum is because they fear losing the Detroit vote. That's why prosecutor Kym Worthy is dragging her feet with the perjury investigation.

But Granholm and Cox know they can use this speech incident to twist things in their favor. I hope they realize their outrage only plays into KK's hands. If this winds up being the rallying cry for other white politicians, KK will be smiling like a Cheshire cat, pointing to them and telling his ignorant voting base, "see I told you the white folks are after me."

I've said it 1,000 times, and I'll say it again: The KK issue can't become about race, otherwise the real issues will be ignored.

Cox is right. Kwame is a race-baiter and a liar. He said nigger for pure shock value and to present a picture of harassment that simply isn't true. People might be talking about his family like a dog, but that fool ain't Britney Spears. Ain't nobody in the bushes with some footies on and a doo-rag trying to nab this fool and his kids.

He's a black politician with some power, so, of course, he's been called a nigger. But hell, I bet half of the time, he's been called that by his own people. Besides, all visible black people will tell you they've been called a nigger. It's not right, but it comes with the territory.

Cox and Granholm should have been heard from long before now, and it's disappointing that they would choose this to show some backbone. It's just a weak situation in Michigan. The people have let a thief and a possible killer plummet the city to its lowest depths, and he's supported by a mealy-mouthed governor and a ball-less attorney general.

Pastor: "Obama Is A Long-Legged Freak"

I know this video is nine minutes long, but it's worth every minute. For those not familiar with Pastor Manning, peep my previous blog on him. By the way, he also drops "54 Ds" a few times.

The White Man Gets It, Why Not The Bruh?

So let me get this straight: New York Governor Eliot Spitzer gets busted organizing ass by the feds and resigns in less than 48 hours. Kwame Kilpatrick bangs his chief of staff, costs the city of Detroit $9 million trying to hide it, is linked to the mysterious murder of a stripper, spent $200K of the city's money partying like Jay-Z, and on top of all that...Detroit was the murder capital last year, continues to have a horrific unemployment rate, and insurance and property taxes are high as hell. But, he's still in office. In fact, last night, Kwame gave his state of the city address like ain't shit up.

Spitzer's out, he's still in. Go figure.

Kwame needs to take some cues from Spitzer, who realized that once he was busted for prostitution, it undermined his authority as governor. How could anyone take the governor seriously knowing that he's spent $80K on some illicit ass? How could he possibly punish anyone with any authority? All they would have to say is "prostitution ring," and they'd have scoreboard. His reputation was destroyed, so for the betterment of the state, he resigned.

Why can't that idiot Kwame do the same? If he truly cared about Detroit the way he says, he'd resign. What can he get accomplished when everybody is snickering behind his back and calling him the text-message freak? What business leader would trust him now, knowing all he does is put his incompetent friends in charge? Kwame would rather send Detroit through scandal and possible criminal trials, rather than do the right thing.

Although, I thought of something today: I notice a lot of white folks who live across 8 Mile are laughing at Detroiters for re-electing Kwame. Some are shaking their heads like, what is wrong with you black folks?

They're right. But before they throw a strone, I got a name for them:

George Bush.

Black folks could easily say, what's wrong with you white people for re-electing George Bush? He might have stolen the first election, but he won pretty easily the second time around.

If you think about it, Bush ran the Kwame in reverse. Bush played the race card, too. He did what many conservative, white politicians do. He played on the fears of the rich, white, conservative and Christian. Got them all riled up about gay marriage, the war, and a "way of life." And he got voted right in.

It's no different than Kwame, who like most black politicians in Detroit use the us vs. them -- city vs. suburbs and black vs. white -- to get re-elected in spite of their woeful mismanagement and lack of ethics.

Politicians all run the same game, black or white.

BREAKING NEWS: 1-800-Dial-A-Trick Sinks NY Governor

Memo to male politicians: Don't send dick through text message, and DO NOT send it through the telephone.

You never know who might be listening, something the New York governor discovered the hard way.

Today Gov. Eliot Spitzer (by the way, why the hell does his name only have one 'T') admitted that was him on the federal wiretap trying to get some coochie from a prostitute.

Nice to know Kwame Kilpatrick isn't the only genius out there.

Is it just me or do all these politicians follow the same dumbass guide when they get busted? Here's what you can expect: Over-use of the term "private matter," a lame apology to the family, followed by some fake-ass show of support by the wife, who more than likely knew he had ho's.

Unlike KK, I'll give Spitzer a few points for doing some things that KK didn't. First, he went to the professionals. This is a good thing. If you're going to cheat, don't be caught on some corner with a vial of crack, a fifth of MD 20/20 and a pack of Lemonheads, trying to bargain for some fellatio.

But when you're a public official, and I don't care if you're running the local Kiwanis club or the state of New York, you've just got to expect that your phone calls are being taped. That might seem super-paranoid, but technology is a mo-fo. If I'm a creeping governor, I've got a separate Sprint phone just for prostitutes. It's called a Ho Phone. Get one. Had Spitzer had one, then fools like me wouldn't forever be referring to him as "Client No. 9," which supposedly was his alias whenever he called Dial-A-Booty.

Which brings me to another point...As soon as the person on the other end identified him as the governor, I would have either hung up, or acted like I had no idea what they were talking about. That should have told him that something wasn't right.

So far, no word on whether Spitzer was paying for the tricks with his personal credit card, or with the state's. Let's hope it's the former.

From a racial standpoint, it definitely shows the difference between when white men cheat, and when black men do it. KK was texting, wining and dining on the city credit card, showing up to see ho's who had mink coats on and nothing else. White dude has a number, is under the discreet name of Client 9, and seems to be trying to do a somewhat respectful creep.

Black folks will pervert the hook up to the death. We truly live by the principle that you "can't fuck with free." That's just how we think. Plus, we do things with jaw-dropping ignorance. It's funny, but it's ignorant.

So in the battle of the creepin' Gov vs. the creepin' Mayor, KK still has him beat. He misappropriated city funds. His creep cost the city $9 million and an unprecedented amount of national embarrassment -- which is saying something for a city like Detroit. Oh, and he also might have killed a stripper.

KK in a knockout.

R.I.P The Wire, 2002-2008

It's over.

I don't want to get too sad, so instead I'll focus my energies on assessing the series finale. If you haven't seen it, don't read further.

The Wire series finale was an 8.5 on a scale of 1-to-10. Look, I'm a huge Sopranos fan, but The Wire's series finale annihilated the Sopranos', which was some trumped-up, overthought-out, wanna-be artistic crap. Don't Stop Believing and fade to black? Shiiiiiiit. That was some bullshit.

The Wire's series finale avoided the typical traps of a series finale. It stayed with the things that made it a cult success. It didn't struggle to wrap things up into some comfortable, tidy little story. It didn't try too hard and attempt to leave you with some false, grandiose, generalistic meaning. And most important, it stayed realistic.

Although the finale left you with a glimmer of hope, it also nailed the one thing that's absolutely true about life. Shit don't change. Shit reinvents itself. Shit presents itself in different forms. But ultimately, especially in inner-cities where the problems are too big to be solved by idiotic, quick-fix plans, we find that shit only reincarnates.

In the finale, characters evolved, but they were quickly replaced. Dukie became Bubbles. Michael became Omar, which to be honest was a fascinating surprise -- though once I thought about it, it made total sense. Michael was cold-hearted, but honorable and likable. Same as Omar. Anyway, I don't want to get off point...Marlo became Avon -- too much of a gangsta to ever merge into the real business world. Chris was Wee-Bey. Carcetti became Royce. Greggs and Bunk became the new McNulty and Freamon, although likely with much more sense.

That's why the series ended with McNulty watching the skyline by the freeway. It's a revolving problem attached to a revolving door.

Anyway, some other thoughts on Episode 60:

- Lester was right. Rhonda Pearlman did screw up the leverage with Levy. No way should Marlo have walked away clean. She had Levy by the gonads when she found out he was behind feeding Prop Joe the grand jury information.

- Herc should have been shot. I was praying Marlo would connect him to everything. Other Wire fans can help me out with this: Did Marlo ever realize Herc was the same cop who was sweating him about the police camera in Season 4? When Herc gave up Marlo's cell phone to Carver, he didn't do it out of a sense of morality. He did it because Marlo stealing the camera eventually got him fired. Herc went out like a real bitch. He deserved a hot one.

- I'm glad Daniels kept his integrity. I would have been extremely disappointed if he would have swallowed the company line and kept cooking the crime stats. Truthfully, I thought he was going to go along to get along since the running theme with The Wire is same shit, different day. But I should have expected him to do what he did.

- Despite wanting to see that lil' bastard reporter fry, I must admit it played out exactly like it would have in the real world. This is a world where assholes reign and those with common sense and decency are punished. If you look at the Jayson Blair and Janet Cooke situations, it took some time before their fabrications were uncovered. Now in those cases, they were punished and (some) editors fell as a result. Still, I don't think it was an accident that the two minorities who spoke up about Templeton were busted down.

- Method Man is my boo, but damn I'm glad Slim Charles killed him. That scene actually made me chuckle. Cheese thought he was all big and bad. He was about to get knee-deep into some gangsta soliloquoy, and Slim was like, damn all that talking. Besides, it would have been a travesty if Cheese's sellout ass wound up as a major player in the drug game, considering the way he sold out Prop Joe.

- Nice reappearance by Prez. I held out hope that Dukie wasn't going to become a 'head. Prez knew the real,. He knew when he gave Dukie the money, their relationship was officially over.

- How sweet was it to see Michael become the new Omar? It never occurred to me until he robbed Marlo how much he had in common with the real Omar. As Snoop said in Episode 59, Michael was never "one of them." He did dirt, but he had a sense of justice about it. He didn't like to see people get what they didn't deserve. He wasn't a company guy. And it really pissed Michael off that Marlo was so quick to believe he was the snitch. We don't have to ask what becomes of Marlo because Michael should take care of that.

The Michael wrinkle alone made the finale brilliant. For a series finale to mean something, it has to tie up enough loose ends (i.e., the end of McNulty and Freamon as murder police), but tantalize your imagination enough to continue the conversation. We'll smile thinking of Michael picking up where they left off. Some people will say the Sopranos finale did this, but I call bull. Sure, you can guess whether Tony died eventually, but that fade to black was simply awful. It felt like just another episode.

However, I do have one bit of good news for Wire fans. I read on the HBO site that Dominic West, the dude that plays McNulty, is trying to convince David Simon and crew to do a movie.

I'm going to bed with a smile.