Preacher On Preacher Crime

My boy D-Mill, an astute ghetto philospher, has hipped me to a phenomenon that's gone largely ignored. It's a new sort of black-on-black crime. This time, the weapons are a Bible, a pulpit, and depending on how you feel about certain thangs...a jheri curl.

I'm talking about black preacher-on-preacher crime. Or, the holy version of the Time Haters.



Who knew black preachers went after each other like rappers, minus the gats. You thought Nas' rivalry with Puffy and Jay Z was hard? You thought the way LL Cool J used to question Moe Dee's flow was rough?

Lemme introduce you to Pastor James David Manning and his beef with Obama and Creflo Dollar.

Manning's ministry is located in New York. He hates Creflo Dollar, black men, and Obama, but strangely enough, not George Bush, who Manning considers a great leader. Let's say you're on the fence about whether to vote for Obama. Well, Pastor Manning gives you the real reason you shouldn't vote for Obama:



We shouldn't vote for Obama because we don't like his foreign politics, because he's soft on crime, or might be too lax with the national spending. According to Manning, we shouldn't vote for Obama for one reason:

He got a white momma.

Need he say more?

I love a Youtube sensation like this dude. If you scroll through his videos, you'll see other crazy shit he's said. Like, Creflo Dollar is a Times Square pimp. Like, the reason Katrina happened is because no-account, low-down, worthless black men refused to protect their own. Or, my personal favorite: When Manning told Fox News' John Gibson that instead of wasting our time with wanna-be Negroes like Obama, we should be concentrating on someone who is really black, like Wesley Snipes.

See what happens when the wrong Negro gets a microphone and a dictionary?

Manning is apart of this strange underworld of Youtube preachers who seemingly generate hits by cutting into one another and preaching outlandish things. They dress a whole bunch of extremist viewpoints with one or two kernels of truth.

Nevertheless, Pastor Tony Smith came back at Pastor Manning on some Hit 'Em Up shit. You've got a to watch this all the way through. At least to the point where Smith says the main reason we shouldn't trust Manning is because he has a jheri curl and is probably a molester. Oh, and you'll also love Pastor Tony's hype men in the back.



I know this will stun you, but Pastor Smith used to be a pimp. Shocking, I know.

After tapping into the secret world of Pastors Gone Wild, I find myself extremely jealous and disappointed. When I was younger, I had to be in church every Sunday, and at least once a week for a choir meeting or Bible study or something. Had my childhood pastor been like Pastor Smith or Pastor Manning, I would have been up in church four nights a week! Pastor Manning called another pastor an asshole during a sermon. Why couldn't I have had that pastor growing up?

Oh, that's right, cuz I'd be going to hell with gasoline 'draws on.