LOTS of things to get to today...
Wrappin' up Lil' Sis' visit:
She's a work in progress. Probably more work than progress. I was in dat ass like a wedgie the entire week she was in Orlando. All week, I tried to surround with people who were driven, ambitious and had a strong work ethic -- the three traits she lacks the most.
Almost went WWE on that lil' heffa, though. I took her to my hair stylist, who told her that if she continued to let her knucklehead friends put bad weaves into her hair, she would be bald in 10 years. My stylist suggested she get braids, which, of course, costs money. And did I mention my lil' sis was 17 with no job? So I made my lil' sis a deal: I'll advance you the money for the braids, but you must get a job in two weeks. Sounds fair, right?
Know what that lil' heffa said:
"You might as well keep your money cuz I ain't gon' get no job in two weeks."
WTF?
First, as someone who loves the English language, it pained me to hear that diarrhea of double negatives. I. Ain't. Gon'. Get. No.?
My lil' sister is a good kid with a lot of potential, but like a lot of 17 year olds, she's lazy as hell. I want her to understand that she's not an exception to the rule. She's got to work for hers, like all of us do. She has big dreams of having her own apartment when she graduates from high school next June, but doesn't understand that with her current mindset, she is completely unprepared for the real world.
So I made a decision. If I've got to keep my foot on her neck all of her senior year, I'm going to do it. She'll probably hate me by the end of this year, but she'll be much further along than she'd ever thought she'd be. The little girl shit is over. Time for her to be a grown woman. Certainly if any of my kind readers have any suggestions, I'm all ears.
Back in L.A.:
I'm in Los Angeles for the second time in three weeks. I can always count on two things: Seeing the most random celebrity doing something normal, and hearing some startling gossip.
Was at the drug store today and saw this dude...
Never expected to see Huggy Bear in a drug-store parking lot, of all places. But it satisfied my random celebrity sighting. Last time I was in L.A., I'm almost positive I saw the dude who played Stiles in Teen Wolf.
As for the gossip. Let's just say an unnamed actor told me that P Diddy likes to make dudes bow down. And I mean that in the gayest way possible...
Weekly recap
- I just love it when Jack Bauer talks dirty to me.
- Day 4 of Lil' Sis visit.
- Yao Ming got married. One question: Who the hell tailored Yao Ming's tux? Second question: What's the over-under on how tall their kids will be? He's 7'6 and she's 6'1.
- If Pacman Jones follows through with this pro wrestling thing, he should do so under the nickname, The Real Nappy-Headed Ho.'
Anyway, tricks and trickettes, I'm off to Vegas, where I'm sure I'll have much more to report from there.
4 comments:
See you in Vegas! As for your sister...I don't know what to tell you cuz.
Actually, wait. Anyone who is that resigned to giving up on a job has to have a large does of cynicism hidden beneath that veneer of entitlement.
And you, journalista, deal with cynical people every day. Hell, as a rule, you're 'sposed to be one. So maybe you can figure something out from there?
I'm not sure how you can cut through the whole "teenism" dynamic, but maybe for starters, you can do two things. I've no idea if they'll work, but since you gave an open call for suggestions ...
a. Give her an assignment:If she knows what she wants to do, have her give you a rough timeline of the path to get there and how much it will require in college tuition.
Once she does this, you can show her the work needed and the fact that if her grades don't qualify her for scholarships, she'll be paying off student loans for decades.
b. Find out who she likes and pick an autobiography of someone she would respect and relate to. Assign a few chapters for each week and have her e-mail you her thoughts about them and then you can talk about them together. I'm sure she respects you b/c you are her sister, but kids today think if they've got a relative with loot, they're taken care of for life.
c. (And this is the big one): Move her in for a summmer. The tough part is she will be unsupervised sometimes and the fact that it is a huge commitment on your part and a lifestyle change. But it seems as though she needs an extended period of deprogramming. She'll be 18 after she graduates, right? Have her stay the summer, require her to get a job, something that forces her to interact with people and lose those double-negatives. By the end of the summer, have her give you a revised plan on what she wants to do. By then, she may have a better understanding of how to get there. Maybe you could even make her your junior personal assistant of sorts. The main deal is she needs to be put in an environment in which she is held accountable for decisions and actions daily if not hourly. How she does when other people depend on her may click in her mind that the most basic way of getting opportunity is to be prepared and be dependable. She's got no better example than you. She just needs to see that up close and for an extended period of time.
VERY good ideas. I thought about C for this summer, but she had to go to summer school, which kind of eliminated the option. But for sure, next summer, C may be on and poppin'...
I'll try to do A & B and see what happens. As it is, I'm text messaging her every day and asking her one question: What have you done to look for a job today?
I did it yesterday and she didn't txt me back. Don't you know the lil' heffa had the nerve to say she could find a job a lot easier if people "got off her back."
Boy, I tell you, this is why Bernie Mac said you can hit a kid in the throat or the stomach.
What, my motives are too punitive or something?
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