Memo to male politicians: Don't send dick through text message, and DO NOT send it through the telephone.
You never know who might be listening, something the New York governor discovered the hard way.
Today Gov. Eliot Spitzer (by the way, why the hell does his name only have one 'T') admitted that was him on the federal wiretap trying to get some coochie from a prostitute.
Nice to know Kwame Kilpatrick isn't the only genius out there.
Is it just me or do all these politicians follow the same dumbass guide when they get busted? Here's what you can expect: Over-use of the term "private matter," a lame apology to the family, followed by some fake-ass show of support by the wife, who more than likely knew he had ho's.
Unlike KK, I'll give Spitzer a few points for doing some things that KK didn't. First, he went to the professionals. This is a good thing. If you're going to cheat, don't be caught on some corner with a vial of crack, a fifth of MD 20/20 and a pack of Lemonheads, trying to bargain for some fellatio.
But when you're a public official, and I don't care if you're running the local Kiwanis club or the state of New York, you've just got to expect that your phone calls are being taped. That might seem super-paranoid, but technology is a mo-fo. If I'm a creeping governor, I've got a separate Sprint phone just for prostitutes. It's called a Ho Phone. Get one. Had Spitzer had one, then fools like me wouldn't forever be referring to him as "Client No. 9," which supposedly was his alias whenever he called Dial-A-Booty.
Which brings me to another point...As soon as the person on the other end identified him as the governor, I would have either hung up, or acted like I had no idea what they were talking about. That should have told him that something wasn't right.
So far, no word on whether Spitzer was paying for the tricks with his personal credit card, or with the state's. Let's hope it's the former.
From a racial standpoint, it definitely shows the difference between when white men cheat, and when black men do it. KK was texting, wining and dining on the city credit card, showing up to see ho's who had mink coats on and nothing else. White dude has a number, is under the discreet name of Client 9, and seems to be trying to do a somewhat respectful creep.
Black folks will pervert the hook up to the death. We truly live by the principle that you "can't fuck with free." That's just how we think. Plus, we do things with jaw-dropping ignorance. It's funny, but it's ignorant.
So in the battle of the creepin' Gov vs. the creepin' Mayor, KK still has him beat. He misappropriated city funds. His creep cost the city $9 million and an unprecedented amount of national embarrassment -- which is saying something for a city like Detroit. Oh, and he also might have killed a stripper.
KK in a knockout.
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