Let The Countdown Begin: My Top-10 Moments From The Wire

When you walk through the garden
you gotta watch your back
well I beg your pardon
walk the straight and narrow track

If you walk with Jesus
he's gonna save your soul
you gotta keep the devil
way down in the hole

He's got the fire and the fury
at his command
well you don't have to worry
if you hold on to Jesus hand
we'll all be safe from Satan
when the thunder rolls
just gotta help me keep the devil
way down in the hole

- Tom Waits, "Way Down In The Hole," the theme song used for The Wire the last five seasons, which was covered by a variety of artists.

In a little over 24 hours, the greatest show in television history is ending. I know that seems like hyperbole, like praise that actually can't be true. But HBO's The Wire is what I say it is.

As homage to the show's end, I'm going to wax poetic about the 10-best moments in The Wire's history. Some time in the next few days, I'll probably do a show eulogy. If depression hasn't totally set in, maybe I'll do another post on the impact of Omar Little on the show and the entertainment landscape.

But let's start with something we can all argue about: Top-10 Moments in The Wire's history.

10. Season 5: Clay Davis pulls a Kwame Kilpatrick (or possibly the other way around)
Clay Davis, best known for the way he says "shiiiiiittttttttt," was caught red-handed for taking money from drug dealers, and doing all sorts of illegal, unethical stuff. Of course, he got off because he went Reverend Deacon Dr. Doug on an all-black jury. There's a Clay Davis in every inner city. In D.C., it's Marion Berry.

9. Season 4: Bodie gets lit up like a POW
I couldn't stand Bodie at first, but he grew on me in Season 4, where you saw his twin on the legit side was McNulty. Bodie's believes in a code, which I respected. He didn't appreciate the way Marlo's gang did business, and he went out like a soldier. Wonder if that's how McNulty might go out, too.

8. Season 1: D'Angelo Barksdale breaks down the chess game, thus the real game
One reason I fell in love with The Wire is for the quieter, introspective moments. In this episode, DB tries to explain the game of chess to his younger, stupider drug handlers. "The King stay the King," DB tells them, when explaining the roles of each chess piece. It's the simplest breakdown of life I've ever heard.

7. Season 2: Omar on the witness stand
A lot of people consider season 2 a dud, but I think once you see all five seasons, you appreciate this season more. But even if you hated it, it's worth watching just for Episode 19, when Omar takes the witness stand during Bird's murder trial and comes correct. Best line is when Levy tries to go after Omar on cross examination and Omar tells him, "Just like you man. I got the shotgun. You got the briefcase."

6. Season 5: Mike ain't Mike no mo'
If you ain't keeping up with Season 5, then you need to stop reading. After the dirt has been done, Mike and Dukie are about to part ways. Dukie reminds him of the time him, Mike, Randy and Namond threw balloons full of piss at some neighborhood rivals. Mike, though, doesn't even remember it, which lets us all know he's killed far too many people and done too many things to return to a time of innocence.

5. Season 1: Greggs catches a hot one
Greggs, on a buy-and-bust, gets lit up like an X-mas tree. That's when we see the bond that's truly formed between her and McNulty. Kinda makes it a shame she's ratting on him in Season 5.



4. Season 5: Prop Joe, no mo'
Prop Joe was always working the angles, and he died trying to save his sorry-ass nephew Cheese, played by Method Man. Wasn't that some shit how Marlo told him to close his eyes and breathe slow? With a gun to the back of your head? Hells naw.

3. Season 5: "How my hair look?"
Snoop's death scene was the most chilling death scene ever on The Wire. She died like a G. She knew that, given all she had done, this was the only way she was going to leave Earth -- with her head totally blown off. When Mike said, "you look good, girl," right before he blew her skull in, I got chills.

2. Season 3: Stringer Bell's a wrap
I was so hurt when this happened, but I knew it was inevitable. Stringer was really trying to move the Barksdale organization forward, but Avon was such a neanderthal. Stringer wanted to be more advanced , but Avon just wasn't having it. It also featured the teaming up of Brother Mouzzone and Omar. What happened to the Avon-Stringer relationship was the more eloquent, better written, complicated version of what happened between G-Money and Nino Brown in New Jack City.

1. Season 5: Omar comin'...well, maybe not
Lots of folks bitched about the way Omar went out. Before I give my reasons for why he died was fair, let me say that Omar was the most fascinating, compelling character on The Wire. He was the one character everyone universally liked. If you would have said I'm going to become enthralled with an urban drama where a gay gangsta is the centerpiece, I would have told you were crazy. A gay gansta? Right, and they'll be a midget super hero.

Anyway, Omar's death was meant to be the way it was. Dude was a legend on the streets, but the lack of fanfare his death received -- from the relatively unimportant corner boy who killed him to his body being mis-tagged by the medical examiner -- was purposeful. No matter how important someone may be in the streets, in the chain of life, they are just another murdered black man. Just another n-i-double-g-a.

Some of you will take issue with me rating Omar's death above Stringer's. But my feeling is that Stringer's death could be accepted, that most Wire fans felt that was imminent. Omar was the one of two or three criminals you wanted to succeed. More than likely, Michael, perhaps Bodie were the other two. Omar was the most popular character on the show, and therefore his death should rate higher.





Now obviously, some noteworthy moments were left out. For example, when Bubbles killed Sherrod accidentally. I'm sure many of you will take issue with the fact I didn't include when Omar confronted Brother Mouzzone. Another moment worthy of top 10 consideration was when Michael left Bug to live with their aunt.

Those are fine selections, but I'm sticking to the scenes that always will resonate with me. As heartbreaking as the Michael-Bug scene was, the scene between Michael and Dukie was stronger and more poignant. Dukie was an unlikely alliance for Michael, who had grown into a cold-blooded killer. And you knew when those two parted ways, Michael was on his way to becoming Avon or Marlo -- which meant he was choosing death. And Dukie was on his way to being Bubbles. It was just such a strong display of divergent paths. Michael leaving Bug just didn't carry that same layered impact.

Anyway, I also had to be careful not to include too many moments from season 5. Although the final season isn't the best one of The Wire -- that title belongs to Season 4 -- it's tempting to place many moments in the top 10 because they bring closure. As it is, part of me is afraid to cast this top 10 hours from the series finale because who knows what will take place.

But debate away. I'm sure you'll point out some things I didn't. By the way, here's BET's top-10 list.

Adrianne Curry and Bill O'Reilly: Doing Their Part To Ease Racial Tension

It doesn't surprise me at all that Adrianne Curry, Top Model alum, is a real dumbass.

She isn't bright, as evidenced by the fact she married Peter Brady. When she was on America's Next Top Model, it was obvious that book smarts and common sense were foreign to her.

Now, she's in hot water because *SURPRISE!* she let loose a torrent of horribly ignorant statements about black folks on her myspace page. I'll give you a sample:

"Black people were slaves here once. You know what? That does suck some major balls, however, it is time to move the fuck on. So, I will no longer tune into BET. This is going to suck, but I do NOT like the idea of having a channel for only 1 race. In the year 2007 in a country that is supposed to be the most advanced and equal. This is unexceptable."

(You can peep the rest of this dumb broad's ramblings here)

No, what's unacceptable is that this heffa is a reality-show reject whose brain is probably half-dead from all the diet pills and numerous times she's stuck her finger down her throat. OK, that was mean.

I wish I could say this is the first time I've confronted such ignorant sentiments. It always amuses me how people who have little-to-no knowledge of history, culture or other races often want to chime in about racism like they're real "expert."

More than likely, her only exposure to black people is through BET and maybe a couple of the black people she met on the Top Model show. Just because minorities grow up in your orbit, doesn't mean you know shit about them.

Obviously, this broad is too stupid to realize that NBC, ABC, HBO, and pretty much most channels with the exception of TV One and BET are dedicated to "1 race"....um, the white race. I have no doubt she would never tell someone Jewish to "get over the Holocaust"...which is a whole 'otha rant I have. Nobody greets talking about or learning about the Holocaust with any resistance whatsoever, but bring up slavery and you will see eyes rolling, teeth sucking and a general exasperation. This isn't a game of who-had-it-worst, but the fact of the matter is slavery occurred on U.S. soil. The Holocaust did not. So the legacy of slavery is sharper and more intact for African Americans. The healing that needs to take place from that is still incomplete.

Anyway, I wish what the idiot-ass model said was the stupidest thing I heard all week. Unfortunately, Fox News guru/race baiter Bill O'Reilly successfully competed with Idiot Model for the Clueless White People award.

O'Reilly recently dipped his head into black culture. He ate dinner with Al Sharpton at Sylvia's in Harlem, which some consider a legendary soul food spot, and he went to an Anita Baker concert. Now before I get into what this fool said about his experiences with "us"...can you picture O'Reilly at an Anita Baker concert? Maybe it's because he's soul-less and evil, but can you picture O'Reilly swaying and singing along to "Caught Up In The Rapture" or "Soul's Inspiration?" Hells naw.

Anyway, this is what O'Reilly had to say about his Nigro experience:

"There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'MF-er, I want more iced tea.' You know, I mean, everybody was -- it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all."

(Go here for more of this ignorance.)

Imagine that, Bill. No bullets. Gold teeth. Black men yelling, "ey, yo, bitch, bring me some of 'dem hamhocks." He also expressed amazement that at Anita Baker's concert there men dressed in tuxedos and black people GASP behaving with class. Because shootings always occur at a Jean Luc Ponty, Baker or Patti Labelle gig.

Is he fucking serious?

That's some of the most racist rhetoric I ever heard come out anyone's mouth. I'm sure, for Bill, seeing black people behave appropriately was akin to catching the Holy Ghost. Now this fucker might have to change some of his race-baiting ways, since he's always using the most racially-charged language to connect with a disconnected white audience whose only brush with the Nigra community comes from watching his half-baked, racist-ass show.

This sort of leads me into discussing BET's hip-hop town hall meeting on Tuesday, which I must say was impressive overall. Bill's racist rhetoric only makes it more important that black people in entertainment be more morally responsible about the images they put out concerning black people.

Of course, there will always be a Bill O' Reilly somewhere in America. A lot of white people have no desire to know Nigras on a deeper level and are more than happy to derive their concept of blackness from 50 Cent, Soul Plane and Mo'Nique. But black culture has never been this mainstream before. White kids bump hip hop harder than any group in America. Hip hop is worldwide. So the music that was just for "us" about "us" is being put into the atmosphere in a whole different way.

I know I'm getting off on a tangent here, but black folks need to understand that our image is a precious thing. A lot of rappers and other entertainers are nothing more than modern-day minstrel coons, no better than Man Tan. The reason white kids eat up hip hop is because they constantly peddle a false identity of what we're really about, but it's so easy for white folks to believe. They believe we're all like Lil' Wayne and Trina. That's what they think. So it becomes a very vicious cycle. We put out ignorant shit, and they eat it up like it's Trix.

But if we do that, we can't bitch and complain about being stereotyped when so many of us are content to make fast and easy money off bullshit.

Neverthless, it's no excuse for the small minded-ness of Curry and O' Reilly. They might as well be wearing hoods.

Week In Review: WWGW (White Girls Gone Wild)

Even Paris Hilton is looking at LL and thinking, "Bitch, get it together!"

LL has DE-railed. Whoever is in a dead pool moved her up about 32 spots following her latest escapade.

One thing LL's DE-railment has proven is that acting out of order isn't just something black athletes do. Unlimited money + celebrity + a gang of enablers = losing your damn mind.

LL has become so tricked out that she actually waltzed into a police station, after driving in excess of 100 mph through residential neighborhoods, with cocaine stuffed in her panties. Oh, but according to LL, it's not hers.

That is stunningly stupid. I think Vegas just increased LL's odds of turning out like Dana Plato, aka Kimberly Drummond. Even Pacman Jones is afraid to hang out with LL.

Now the week in review...

- We Got To Do Better Than Hot Ghetto Mess. Well, that's what everyone is saying. In the post-Imus climate, it's suddenly become very popular to roast BET's ass. Yet somehow, there is resounding silence about Flava of Love.

- Niggas Is A Beautiful Thang. My boy, Twist, unearths a hilarious, yet honest essay about use of the n-word.

- Nike Is Full Of Shit. So says my British gal pal (always wanted to use that word), who points out that it is ridiculously hypocritical for Nike to drop Michael Vick for dog-fighting as long as they engage in that little practice of child slave labor. And in the hierarchy of shit we supposedly care about, kids are pretty freakin' high.

- Lil' Sis Is Coming To Town. Hope I can teach her a thing or two about being better, wanting better and thinking bigger.

- Men Sniff Our Panties When We Aren't Paying Attention. Hey, that's what my boy said.