Week In Review: Team Vick Is Gonna Be Some Bad Man's Boyfriend

As we count the days until Michael Vick is being booed up by his cellmate...

A major announcement on the single front. I'm still single...but barely. The SO (Significant Other) and SO Jr., (Significant Other, Jr) moved in this week, marking the first time I've ever done the co-habitation thing.

Even though it's just Day 4...talk about benefits! (And I'm not just saying that because SO reads this blog)

- Home-cooked meals

- A refridgerator that is fuller than a mug

- Did I mention the food?

- Airport pickup service

- Airport dropoff service

- Things being re-assembled

- Things being de-assembled

- A wrinkle-free existence

- Bottomless light beer

I shoulda done this, like, forever ago.

And on dat note, the week in review...

- If you want to be ashamed of being black, go watch the Flava Flav roast. It is abominable. Flav set us back so far, he made separate water fountains look not so bad. We GOTS to do better!

- I survived Vegas on the Kettle One-no food diet. Not for everybody. Only the sexy people.

- It took five years, the peed-on chick is 20, and R. Kelly is 40, but he's finally going to trial for having sex with underage girls. I'm smacking the shit out of the first person who says he's a victim of racism. All this could have been settled had they put Chris Hansen on him.

- Please watch Bryant Gumbel's interview with Pacman Jones. It didn't set us back as much as Flava Flav's roast, but it was close. Asked why he took more than 50 G's into a strip club to "make it rain," Pacman said, "'Cuz I couldn't put it in the car." I know we're supposedly in an n-word free society 'cause the NAACP buried it, but the only thing that ran across my mind after seeing this interview was: Damn. Niggas.

Be easy.

Week In Review: WWGW (White Girls Gone Wild)

Even Paris Hilton is looking at LL and thinking, "Bitch, get it together!"

LL has DE-railed. Whoever is in a dead pool moved her up about 32 spots following her latest escapade.

One thing LL's DE-railment has proven is that acting out of order isn't just something black athletes do. Unlimited money + celebrity + a gang of enablers = losing your damn mind.

LL has become so tricked out that she actually waltzed into a police station, after driving in excess of 100 mph through residential neighborhoods, with cocaine stuffed in her panties. Oh, but according to LL, it's not hers.

That is stunningly stupid. I think Vegas just increased LL's odds of turning out like Dana Plato, aka Kimberly Drummond. Even Pacman Jones is afraid to hang out with LL.

Now the week in review...

- We Got To Do Better Than Hot Ghetto Mess. Well, that's what everyone is saying. In the post-Imus climate, it's suddenly become very popular to roast BET's ass. Yet somehow, there is resounding silence about Flava of Love.

- Niggas Is A Beautiful Thang. My boy, Twist, unearths a hilarious, yet honest essay about use of the n-word.

- Nike Is Full Of Shit. So says my British gal pal (always wanted to use that word), who points out that it is ridiculously hypocritical for Nike to drop Michael Vick for dog-fighting as long as they engage in that little practice of child slave labor. And in the hierarchy of shit we supposedly care about, kids are pretty freakin' high.

- Lil' Sis Is Coming To Town. Hope I can teach her a thing or two about being better, wanting better and thinking bigger.

- Men Sniff Our Panties When We Aren't Paying Attention. Hey, that's what my boy said.