This is going to be one of those blogs where I take my shoes off, my weave out, put some vaseline on, clip my toenails and put on my do-rag. In other words, I'm about to get REAL comfortable.
That was a BULLSHIT-ass response by Kwame Kilpatrick Wednesday night.
Give KK an A+ because he did hit the proper public relations talking points. He must have said the word, "family," about 1,329 times. He threw out his belief in God, although the obvious question is, were you hearing from the Lord when you were telling your chief of staff over text message how you wanted to tap that ass?
Of course, he slickly dropped how he had been in love with his wife since he was 19, trying to sell us on some bold, fake-ass, Sweet Valley High love story. And then he implored for folks to leave his kids alone, although I'm sure his boys are thinking...why does my daddy have to be the ho?
First thing I noticed was that his wife, Carlita, looked like at any moment she might hit that fool with a frying pan or give him the Al Green grits treatment. I can only imagine what was going on through her head. Probably something like this:
Nucca, you got me doing this bullshit fo' yo' trick ass! I swear if it didn't get saved last night, I'd whup dat ass in front of the Lord and this photo of white Jesus. Help me GAWD! Lord, deliver me before I have to give this fool a two piece and a biscuit right here on national TV!
As an aside, I thought her wearing a man-suit was a terrible idea. I know she was trying to give off strength. Instead, she gave off husky.
Anywho...
On to this family bullshit Kwame was trying to sell us on. He and Carlita kept saying how they're not perfect people and don't have a perfect marriage. No shit. But they made it seem like the shit they were going through was just some normal, everyday stuff. Um, HELLO, your husband is banging his second in command and then on MLK weekend of all times, got busted on a couples retreat doing a Civil Rights creep. Normal might be a one-time creep. Normal is not having the newspaper out 'cho freak, lying in a court of law about it and costing a major, metropolitan city $9 million. That's a little bit more than a simple imperfection. An imperfection is leaving the toilet seat up, and having a few streaks in yo draws (yeah, I went there). An imperfection is not using city time to get 'cho fuck on.
Possibly the most hilarious part of this "apology" was when Carlita spoke. First, this was sort of a ballsy move from a P.R. standpoint. Shrewd, though. The one thing Kwame can count on is that people will have sympathy for his wife, and that might prevent folks from truly holding his ass over the flame.
Carlita talked about being hurt, disappointed and angry. All understandable emotions for a woman who just found out her husband was blowing out the back of his chief of staff. The reason I call bullshit on her is because Ghetto AP has reported for years that Kwame has been screwing around. This ain't nothin' new. It's difficult for me to muster sympathy for a woman that willingly goes along with the program because, ultimately, this is about her being the city's first lady. She's not giving up her place. So, really, what Carlita was trying to say was this:
All y'all bitches that have been screwing my husband, I just want to let you know that I'm the no. 1 Bitch 'round here. So, if y'all ho's think you gon' replace me, you gotta another thang coming. By the way, Christine Beatty, next time I see you in the street, I'm going in that mouth. Deuces, ho's.
This was Kwame's way of trying to deflect attention from the real issue: His affair was at the city's expense. Politicians screw around. We know this. People have shady, shitty ass marriages. BFD. The reason Kwame needs to go and why the city should never forgive him has nothing to do with the fact that he's a foul-ass husband and father.
As mayor, you are responsible for more than just yourself. You have the public trust and suppposedly, their best interest at heart. This was a situation where Kwame put his side screw above the city. Period.
So he can trot out his church, his pastor, his wife, his kids, his God, his record of public service, his allies, whatever. He can quote Ecclesiastes, Corinthians, Ezekial, and Malachi. He can bankhead bounce, Soulja Boy, or make it do what it do. But it doesn't change the fact he lied under oath and wrongfully fired a man for doing his job. And, as I said, cost the city a whole bunch of money it doesn't have.
I don't feel one ounce of sympathy for him. Burn baby, burn. And, for the next month, can you please it keep it in your pants?
3 comments:
I love how he blamed the media for making his personal/private life front-page news. Again, he's the victim, and it's the media's fault. He's a public figure. He used public funds. It's not private. It pains me to hear the man-on-the-street interviews with citizens, though. Most think the media should leave him alone. I'm glad the City Council wants to audit his expenses. That should be interesting.
I'd never seen his wife before.
I'll say this, in an honest moment of real-talk: You gotta be a true, god-fearing, readin'-the-bible-daily kinda dude to be the mayor of a black city full of losse-bootys and not cheat on that broad Kilpatrick married.
This is why I'm a fan of patience. If you're the kinda nigga that forsees some great things in your future -- a lucrative career, high profile political post, etc -- then chill on engagements and rice-throwing until you've arrived and you step onto that next strata of potential mates.
A cheat is a cheat and will cheat, but trust that if wifey is movin with curves and a pretty smile and all that, it's less of a thought to cheat than opposed to, say, Kilpatrick's wife, who looks and seems to be shaped/sized like Steve Harvey.
I've never cheated in my life, but if i were Kwame, it'd be hard not to get some Lewinsky under my cherry wodd desk from COS when i'm goin home to to some WNBA broad that could be the stuntman for Anthony Andersen.
Watching The Wire last night, especially the rally scene with Clay Davis, all I could think about was Kwame Kilpatrick and the mess he is in. Sheeeeet.
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