Wednesday, January 23, 2008

If It Helps You Make A Hit...Is It A Performance Enhancer?



I'm trying to be a more responsible blogger in '08. I know it's something I say every year, but I'm going to try to mean it. So, this will be a first in a series of blogs I do between today and tomorrow because, quite frankly, I have a lot of shit to get off my chest.

Let's start with a strange, but ultimately, not surprising story.

When you hear, "performance-enhanching drugs," you usually think of athletes like Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens and Marion Jones. But it turns out hip-hop and R & B stars like Mary J. Blige, Fidee Cent and others have been busted illegally obtaining PEDs, specifically human growth hormone.

For those who don't know much about HGH, this is the proverbial fountain of youth. It regenerates your muscle, has you develop lean, muscle...basically, you are on some Incredible Hulk shit. Many experts have even pointed to some long-term health benefits. If you take HGH, you are less likely to develop a slew of bone-related disease, among other things. Some experts even suggest that healthy males over 30 take HGH on a monthly basis. Someone I know has a conspiracy theory that the reason the federal gov't labeled HGH a controlled substance -- like crack, weed, etc -- is because they don't want the general public to be able to get their hands on it. If they did, the life expectancy for the public would increase so dramatically that our gov't would be at huge, financial risk. If mofos live longer, then they also absorb this good, American living longer. As it is, because of the proliferation of baby boomers, Social Security is going to be non-existent for young folks like me.

But back to rappers and crooners on that needle...

I'm sure you all have seen how Mary J. Blige has transformed over the years. She went from this:






To this:





A couple years ago, Mary said she dropped close to 20 pounds. She was never a big woman, but she all of a sudden went from sister around the way to looking like Angela Bassett did in What's Love Got To Do With It. Ready to knock a fool out!

I suppose it's naive of us to think artists, like athletes, wouldn't need a little help to maintain. Those two camps are more alike than we think. To stay hot in either domain, you've got to look a certain way. That's the reality of both businesses. If you think about it, artists have more reasons to use the stuff. Very few attain the type of guaranteed contracts that athletes get. Mary has been around for a minute, and has solidified herself as one of the greatest soul artists ever. But, if you're Keyshia Cole, new to this game, you have every incentive to take HGH and anabolic steroids.

Most of us get on our high horse when it comes to using PEDs. I'm a lot more bothered by athletes because the sanctity of sports is different than the sanctity of a hit record. So Mary shoots up and what's the worse that happens? Nothing, really. I doubt PEDs helped her write My Life or No More Drama. What she's doing mostly just makes her look good, it's got nothing to do with the quality of her music.

Whereas with athletes it's saving and extending careers, making them able to do things they normally couldn't. If it weren't for 'roids and HGH, Roger Clemens might have been over with a decade ago. No matter if Fidee Cent took HGH or not, he's still going to sound like the illiterate rapper. "In Da Club" probably still gets written.

Anyway, you can decide where you stand with the morality of all this. But I've got to give you the punchline to the Mary J. Blige steroid scandal. She used a fake name to get the illegal shipments of HGH. The name? Marlo Stanfield. If you watch The Wire, you know how hilarious that is.

2 comments:

M-Dubb said...

I'm still denying this. I can't believe my wifey would falter on such a big part of her recovery.

It's a drug regardless. She said she's kicked them.

Now, I'm kicking myself...

don alberto said...

Damn, HGH did a body GOOD!