BBMA -- Bad, Black Male Actors

I knew I was destined to make this list because last night I caught the ending of Higher Learning.

Do you remember it? Michael Rappaport, whose ethnicity remains a mystery, went atop an academic building an started shooting up the campus. He capped Tyra Banks and in a scene designed for no other reason than to win a NAACP Image Award, a bloody Banks shouted, "Why?! Why?!" as Omar Epps cried with the I-gotta-take-a-shit look on his face. Yall know that cry. The one where it hurts so much you can't even make a friggin' sound. All you can do is look like you're constipated.

After watching that, I really couldn't decide whether Omar Epps should make my list BBMAs. Such a tough call. Unlike a lot of females, I never bought that he was sexy. So what he was chocolate. He was slew-footed and goofy looking.

Let's countdown together to see if Omar makes the cut.

10.

Worst-acting family ever.

First, let's leave their comedy acts and Living Color out of this. Living Color was hilarious. It was innovative. Sketch comedy is the Wayans' thing.

Acting, however, is not.

Little Man. Senseless. Above the Rim. The Wayan Bros sitcom. Major Payne. Last Boy Scout. Great White Hype. Scary Movie. White Chicks.

They get more movie deals than any collection of black people in Hollywood and 90 percent of their flicks are flat-out awful. Again, this is not saying these guys aren't funny. And I'll even give Damon some credit for his role as Pierre Delacroix in Bamboozled. Of course, it took having Spike Lee as a director and a script that was virtually flawless for Damon to show even a modicum of talent.

But don't even get me started on Marlon and Shawn, who by far are the least funniest of the Wayans clique. Although Keenan stunk up the joint in Glimmer Man and Low Down Dirty Shame, he can at least put together good concepts and skits for movies. I'm Gonna Git You Sucka was hilarious and Hollywood Shuffle was absolutely brilliant. But he needs to leave alone the idea that he's the black Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And quietly, Kim is underrated as a comedian. But no, she can't act either.

9.

It truly hurts my heart to associate my boo, Boris, with anything negative. But Boris needs to thank God every day he was made this fine.

Boris can only play one role: Fine, sensitive guy. But they have to limit his lines. He can't speak too much. His best work was in Soul Food, but it was a great cast, had such strong writing, so Boris couldn't fugg it up. And they knew exactly what they were doing by having him and Nicole Ari Parker do so many sex scenes.

They tried to see if Boris could deliver on his own, which resulted in the horrendous project, The Gospel, where Boris is a R & B heathen that returns to his church roots. That movie was so bad I almost banned myself from ogling Boris for a year.

Boris, like George Clooney, has the terrible habit of acting with his chin. 'Cept George can really act. Boris can only be beautiful. It's a curse.

8.

Who told this brotha he was fine? I need names, addresses, and telephone numbers.

Leon is the anti-hot. To me, he always comes off as somewhat homosexual (On cue: No that there's anything wrong with that...) And he's played one too many roles where he has a conk.

Remember when he played Black Jesus in Madonna's "Like A Prayer" video? Criminal.

7.

Another bad actor who is frighteningly attractive.

And I say that as someone who has spent the better part of the last 15 years watching Young and The Restless, where Shemar had his most memorable role as Malcolm.

I lived in denial for the longest time about Shemar's acting skills. I tried to ignore the stupidity of his longing looks, the absurdity of when he tried to emit fear or tenderness. But in truth, he's a mimbo -- a male bimbo. And he hosted Soul Train. Nuff said.

Shemar is a Morris Chestnut/Blair Underwood wanna be. Those are bros who use their fineness to get in the door, but there's some talent underneath. Shemar only has one of those two components and acting talent isn't one of them.

6.

Don't get me wrong, I found Drumline entertaining. It was cute THE FIRST TIME he did the cocky, somewhat charming routine. Then came Underclassmen. Roll Bounce. Love Don't Cost A Thing.

Nick Cannon tries too hard. He so desperately wants to live up to the comparison to Will Smith. Problem is, he can't rap. He can't act. And, he's corny in a detrimental way, whereas Will was in a way that was endearing.

In the next couple years, watch NC try to reinvent himself as an action star. Eh yo Nick, Will called. He wants to know if he can have his career back.

5.
Broke-ass Tupacs.

4.

I held out hope for Ced for a long time. He's such a funny comedian. And I thought he was going to have the crossover appeal that Eddie Murphy, Bernie Mac and Martin have.

ANNNNNTTTTT!!!! Wrong.

Code Name: Cleaner and Johnson's Family Vacation made me abandon my hope that Ced would become something more. He has Most Favorite Negro Status and is making quite a living as the buffoon alongside (enter white guy here). See: Intolerable Cruelty, Serving Sara and Be Cool.

I'm not hating on Ced for taking advantage. After all, he's got the president inviting him to entertain at state dinners. Feets don't fail you now, Ced.

3.

Jheri-curl, skull cap wearing, I'm just a straight-up N-I-double-G-A Cube always will be my favorite. Not, Are We There Yet or Are We Done Yet Cube. Not, Barbershop Cube. I want Don Mega Cube.

Deep down in those places he won't talk about, I bet even Cube will acknowledge he's a shitty actor. But Cube has hit a lick on the family film hustle, so I can't blame him for going with it. He's making triple the money he made during his NWA days. Screw the Dope Man, it's all about being Family Man. But we can't call him Cube. He's O'Shea. Which is kinda funny because he used to clown people that soldout the way he did. See: Burn Hollywood Burn with Public Enemy.

2.
See? He made it!

He's been Q from Juice in just about all his movies. The Program. Love and Basketball. Higher Learning. One of the few exceptions was when he played in the sequel to Major League. Yeah, they made a sequel.

Omar is another dude that acts with his chin. Well, his chin and his walk. There's really not much else to him. And he's probably better on the TV show, House, than he's been in any of his movies.

1.

Hollywood wants so badly for Chris Rock to be the black Adam Sandler. They want him to be able to carry movies solo, or be the lovable black sidekick the same way Chris Tucker has been.

Chris is funny as hell when it comes to stand up and his TV show. But brotha needs to put the pen down when it comes to his own movies, most of which he has written.

And his persona is such that, unlike Adam Sandler, Chris can't ever be in a dramatic role, or anything toned down. Chris could never pull off what Sandler did in Spanglish. Or, for that matter, what Eddie Murphy successfully executed in Dreamgirls.

But I ranked Chris No. 1 -- even though I do own Head of State on DVD -- because of exposure and opportunity. Like Beyonce, Chris Rock is going to get a littany of chances to be terrible because he's such a brilliant comedian. So we may as well prepare for Down To Earth II.